Secrets
by keactress16
Summary: Remus Lupin has two big problems:   1. He is helplessly in love with his good friend, Sirius Black.   2. He is a werewolf, and no one knows but him and Dumbledore. Which is sort of an issue.
1. Just an Ordinary Day

( 4th year Marauders era) Everything about Sirius drew Remus in. His storm-gray eyes, his half-grin that made Remus' heart flutter, the way he didn't let those disgustingly bigoted pure-bloods like Snivellus push anyone around...Sirius means everything to him. If only Remus wasn't hiding the fact that he is lycanthrope, and if only Sirius wasn't dating every bloody girl in the school!

**Remus**

Remus was in his room, studying. He was sitting on the windowsill, glancing up from his Transfiguration textbook once and a while to look out at the sky, most particularly the moon. The full moon was only in 3 days, and it was beginning to take it's toll. He constantly felt his wolf instincts kick in, more than not at irritating times. Just this morning Sirius had tried to hand Remus a **silver **plate, and it was so close to his time of month, it burnt his hands. Although he immediately had the urge to tell Sirius everything, he knew he couldn't. He just...couldn't. It was a bad idea. Remus snapped out of his day dreams and focused back on the reading, this concentration was short-lived, however, due to the fact that Sirius had come bursting in, obviously coming back late from a date with _another_ girl.

"Oi, Remus!" Sirius said lightly. His piercing blue-gray eyes left Remus fixated for a moment, but Remus quickly regained his composure.

"Hello, Sirius," He said with a soft smile. "Wherever have you been?" He asked sarcastically.

Sirius pretended to take offense. "Why, my dear Remmie, I have simply been studying!" He said jokingly. They both laughed and Sirius leaned over Remus, examining the cover of his book. Remus could smell the scent of Sirius' aftershave and in made him get butterflies. He wanted to pull Sirius by the tie into a beautiful embrace and kiss him until his world melted away...but he needed to stop kidding himself. Sirius was ogled over by nearly every girl and guy in the school- he wouldn't have time for someone like Remus. More importantly, Sirius was definitely not in to men. Well, that's how it looked to Remus. Sirius was constantly out with girls. It drove him insane, having to pretend he wasn't completely in love with him.

"So, Remus..."

"Yeah?"

"It's just... you've been acting a bit...on edge lately, and I was, uh, wondering, if something was-?"

Remus felt his pulse speed up. Sirius couldn't possibly know that he was a werewolf. He had hidden it so well. But Remus' panic was cut short by James bursting in to the room, red in the face.

"DAMN EVANS!" He roared.

Remus raised an eyebrow and Sirius rolled his eyes and muttered "What'd you do this time...?"

James sunk onto his bed miserably. "She called me a jerk..."

"And...?" Remus asked, a bit unsure. He knew it took more than Lily calling James a jerk to get him riled up.

"She...she said she wishes she never met me." James mumbled. Remus, being fairly close friends with Lily Evans, knew that she didn't _really_ mean it.

"It will all be fine, just give her some space for a while." Remus said reassuringly.

Sirius, James and Peter spent the rest of the night trying to concoct some sort of...plan, while Remus just watched in awe of how ridiculous they could be. Still, it gave him a warm feeling inside to see that dreamy half-smile of Sirius's.

**Sirius**

Sirius was sitting on his bed with James and Peter, coming up with silly plans about how to get Evans to fall madly in love with James. Every once in a while, they would run an idea by Remus and so far, Remus pointed out an obvious flaw that they overlooked. _Typical Remus,_ Sirius thought to himself. Remus was definitely the logical one of the group... Sirius loved that about him. Whenever Sirius felt his world was about to come crashing down, Remus could just say one word to him and it would all be better. Which is why Sirius had been so ... worried, lately. Remus wasn't acting like himself. This happened every month, it was rather odd, actually. But what really bothered Sirius was that Remus was obviously hiding something.

He didn't appreciate it when Remus kept things from him. It made him feel like Remus didn't trust him, and that wasn't something he would stand for.

"Hey, Remus?" Sirius said, head tilted back, facing Remus.

"Yes?" The boy mumbled, obviously immersed in _another _bloody book. It seemed to Sirius that Remus lived in books and studying. Sirius wished Remus would get his nose out of those books and pay attention to other things... like Sirius. It seemed to him that Remus used books to escape whatever pain and distress he was experiencing, and, as clever as that was, Sirius knew that Remus shouldn't get used to escaping pain. He would know. Sirius came from an _extremely_ abusive, yet rich, home. While his brother Regulus was prized above all, Sirius was treated as dirt. His family didn't exactly approve of his "blood-traitor" ways. Which Sirius thought was completely bollocks. Just because his family was disgustingly narrow-minded didn't mean he had to be. He snapped out of his inner rant and answered Remus with another question.

"Do you _e__ver _stop reading?"

Remus then did that adorably shy smile that made Sirius feel giddy, and went back to his reading. Yes, Sirius Black, also known by the female population of Hogwarts as Sirius "-ly sexy" Black, was in love with Remus Lupin, endearing genius. Of course, Sirius could never tell anyone about this. While Remus was his world, but he doubted the feeling would be returned. To Remus, Sirius was probably just another bloody friend. Sirius tried to cover up his infatuation with Remus by dating all of the girls at school, but they didn't mean anything to him.

He continued to fool around with his friends, but now with a small but determined goal; to find out what was bothering Remus.

**Hello, guys! I hope you like my first chapter! I would appreciate any reviews you may have for it. Thanks! It means a lot to me!**


	2. Remus Revealed

**Thank you so much for the reviews, I will try to apply some of the suggestions to what I'm writing! Thanks!**

Remus was more than exhausted. Tonight was the full moon, which only meant enduring yet another night of extreme pain. The mere thought of transformation sent shivers down his spine. He hated having to experience this ultimate pain. He didn't deserve it, and it didn't seem fair. Fenrir Greyback had bitten him as a small child, and all of his life he had to deal with this hell. The worst of it all, was that he had absolutely no one to go to. While becoming Moony was painful, being alone was a whole new kind of pain. It made him feel numb and desperate for help he knew he could not ask for. Remus was sitting in the Grand Hall, barely touching his food and mentally preparing himself for the upcoming night when James, Sirius, and Peter burst in, strutting to their table with cocky grins on their faces.

Remus immediately knew something was up. "What _did _you do? I hope it wasn't something too senseless, you all have enough detentions as it is..."

James chuckled. "Don't worry Rem, we simply left Snivellus a little...surprise."

No sooner had the words left James' mouth then the door flew open. All four house tables turned to see what appeared to be a very colorful hair charm.

James, Sirius and Peter were doubled over with laughter, unable to contain themselves. Remus only rolled his eyes and smiled, then focused on his oatmeal. Sirius obviously noticed Remus's unusual behavior. Sure, he was a bit reserved, but never like this. He seemed so down lately. And Sirius was more than positive it had something to do with what Remus wasn't telling him, whatever it was. Why wouldn't Remus tell him? Did he not trust him? Sirius had never done anything that would make Rem think he would betray him, had he?

_Gods,_ Sirius thought. _All I want is for Remmie to be happy. Is that really so much to ask?_ He sighed as he sat down next to the boy, and studied him. His gorgeous golden blonde hair that was lightly highlighted, the warm caramel eyes with golden flecks in them that just made Sirius want to pull the boy close and let him forget everything. But...no. He needed to stop. Sirius had experienced enough disappointment in his life as it is, he didn't need to let it go any further.

He lightly nudged the golden boy. "Y'all right, Remmie?" He whispered, so the other boys wouldn't hear. Sirius didn't even try to hide the worry in his eyes.

"Uh, yes, I'm doing quite well, thanks for asking," Remus replied quickly. He knew Sirius could see right through the lie, but he didn't want to get Sirius involved. The poor man had been through enough, and as odd as calling a 4th year a "man" might seem, Sirius was more of a man than anyone he had ever met. Putting up with the family he had, speaking up for what he believed in... the boy deserved a bloody Nobel prize. Sirius looked like he was about to say something more, but the bell rang, signalling the start of Potions.

"C'mon guys, we've gotta get to Potions! Ey, maybe we'll get a closer look at Snivelly's beautiful mane!" James yelled out to the two Marauders that were slightly trailing behind. They both hurried up until they were all walking in a row, down to the potions class.

The entire day, both Sirius and Remus were not very focused. Remus couldn't stop thinking about the moon, and Sirius couldn't stop thinking about finding out what Remus was thinking about. Needless to say, it wasn't a very productive cycle. They spent the whole day playing the "look away" game. Basically, as one was glancing at the other, the one currently being glanced at looked away and pretended like he hadn't been looking at the other. The day went by fairly quickly due to this, and before they knew it, it was almost time for the moon to come out and dishevel Remus's normally neat and tidy life once again.

Remus checked his watch, and left the library in a hurry. He jogged out to the shrieking shack, and quickly found the room Dumbledore had designated for his transformations. He lay down on the floor, and waited for the transformations to begin.

Sirius was hanging out around outside near the shrieking shack when he noticed something rather odd. It was Remus... wait, was he running in to the shack? But it was nearly dark out, what was he doing?

Sirius bolted towards the shack; he knew in his gut that this is what Remus had been hiding, whatever it was. He rushed inside, and saw a door left ajar on the second floor. He tiptoed up the stairs, and was shocked to see Remus on the floor, writhing in pain. _What was going on?_

"Remus? Rem, are you OK?" Sirius asked in a panic. He rushed over to Remus.

Remus tried to say something, anything, to make any coherent noise come out of his mouth, but it was too late. The transformation had begun.

The last thing he saw was Sirius's stormy eyes pouring in to his; then the wolf took over his mind, and Remus was lost.

**Hey! So keep the reviews coming, I really appreciate them and will try to adjust to your suggestions! Another chapter will be out within a couple of days.**


	3. Siriusly in Danger

**Thank you so much for the reviews, they mean the world to me! Keep writing them, I'll try to get the next chapter up fairly soon.**

Sirius looked up in complete shock and fear at the towering beast that stood before him; and suddenly it all made sense.

How could he have been so blind? How on earth did he not notice the fact that Remus missed a day of school every month, and how beat up and worn out he looked when he came back? How could he have not noticed the way silver burnt him, how lethargic and unpleasant he was before a full moon? _How could he have been so blind_?

The jumble of Sirius's thoughts were interrupted by a roar echoing throughout the shack. The wolf that stood before him looked furious. Sirius was frozen. The wolf lunged at him, and Sirius cried out as his arm was clawed by the wolfs unkind claws. Blood soak through Sirius's shirt; sure, his dad had used the Cruciatus on him _loads_ of times, but this pain was somehow a strange thing happened. The wolf stared into Sirius's eyes, and something happened. The wolf back away in shame, dragging it's tail behind him. Sirius was a little more than confused, but he tried not to linger on it. He sprinted for the door, and closed it behind him. Sirius locked the door and collapsed outside, his mind racing.

_I'll just wait here until Remmie transforms back,_ he thought. And so he did, although he lost a lot of blood in the process. Sometime over the course of the night, Sirius heard a loud crashing noise in the barricaded room, then whimpering, then silence. After a few hours, the silene continued. He tried to push the thought from his mind, but he simply couldn't;

_What if something happened to Remus?_

Before he knew what he was doing, Sirius grabbed his wand, muttered "_Alohamora_", and slowly walked in to the room. There was Remus, in human form, on the ground...very bloody. Sirius inhaled sharply and ran over to where Remus lay.

"Remus! Remus, can you hear me? It's Sirius! Are you OK? Please be OK," Sirius said. This was _his_ Remus. Sirius didn't notice the tear sliding down his face. He looked out of the small window and saw the sun was already up.

Remus's eyes fluttered open, and he looked worried.

"Siri..." He mumbled. "You can't be here. You...you're not supposed to know..." His voice was weak and raspy.

"Shh..." Sirius said. "Is someone going to come and get you, or will I have to carry you back?" He smiled softly. It was completely for Remus's benefit, however, because Sirius really felt overwhelmed.

"M...Madam Pomfrey and Dumble..." Before Remus could finish, he had lost consciousness. It hadn't even been 30 seconds later that Dumbledore and Madam Pomfrey had come running in, obviously in the middle of a conversation.

"But I've told you, Albus, he could seriously hurt himself one of these days!"

"I am well aware, which is why we have an infirmary, in case you didn't remem-" His thought was cut short by the sight of Remus and Sirius, both very bloody.

Madam looked like a ghost. "W-what are you doing here, Black? Did you see anything? Why are you...bleeding? What is going on?"

Sirius got up quickly, though his head was reeling a bit. "I came in last night to see what he was up to... I'm so sorry, I really didn't mean to find out... er, well, I suppose I did, but... Is he going to be OK?"

Dumbledore furrowed his brow. "I would ask the same of you, Sirius. You appeared to have lost a lot of blood... but follow me, we'd better get both of you into the hospital wing."

Sirius carried Remus, while Dumbledore supported Sirius. Madam Pomfrey led the way until they were in the infirmary. They laid Remus down gently on a bed, and made Sirius lay down as well.

Dumbledore then paced out of the room, muttering about the infirmary bills.

"You both had better get some rest..." She said, mother-like. It made Sirius smile a little. The only time Sirius's mother had ever paid any attention to him was when she was torturing him.

"Uhm... how long has this been happening to Remus? The...the transformations, I mean."

Madam Pomfrey raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

"It's just... I don't understand why he hasn't told me. I mean, I care so much about him, and being a werewolf isn't a choice at all, why would he possibly think I would judge him?" Sirius must have sounded more frustrated then he had wanted to let on, because Madam raised both her eyebrows, then gently sat next to Sirius, and said something that no one, besides Remus, had ever said to him before.

"I'll understand if you don't want to, but I've found that letting it all out and expressing my feelings to someone I can trust really helps," He smiled kindly at him. "and you can trust me."

Sirius was a bit taken aback at first, but then slowly nodded and finally said what he felt. He could trust Madam Pomfrey... she was almost like the mother he wished he had.

"It's just, I care so much about Remus, he's the kindest, gentlest, best bloody human being I've ever met. And why does he feel like he has to hide this from me? He is too bloody hard on himself, he is just too _reserved, why can't he bloody live for once?_ And I try to let him know that he can trust me, but no, he's just to damn imperfect! Why the hell can't he just see that I love him?" Sirius ended on a yell. It was then very quiet. Madam Pomfrey then hugged Sirius and placed a hand on his shoulder, imparting one final thought before leaving;

"Remus is scared. He is afraid of being happy, because he doesn't believe happiness can last. One cannot easily change a person, Mister Black, but the most you can do right now is show him how you feel." And with that, she was out of the door.

A few seconds later, she stuck her head back in. "Oh, and Mister Black, please watch your language." She closed it once again, and left for good, leaving a strange new idea ruminating in the air.

_Show him._

Sirius's head was swimming, mostly with thoughts, though lack of blood was probably a small factor. He lay down on his bed and faced Remus. He was going to show Remus everything. How amazing he was, how perfect...how much he cared. He fell asleep, pondering what his master plan would be. He was going to get his Remus.


	4. Waking Up

**I hope you guys are enjoying so far, keep the reviews coming! I've been UBER busy, sorry!**

Remus's eyes fluttered open, and panned across the room-the infirmary, was it? He must have had a bad transformation... He lay in bed for a few moments, surveying the empty hospital. He knew from the monthly visits here that Madam Pomfrey would be here soon to check on him.

Then, it all hit him.

Sirius. Sirius knew.

His momentarily peaceful awakening was shattered like a mirror being thrown to the ground as he recalled the events of last night in a panic. Sirius...blood. Was Sirius hurt?

_Was I hu-_ His thoughts were cut short as his eyes slid over to his abdomen. He suddenly became aware of the unbearable pain shooting up an down his body. He examined his chest more carefully... it looked like a few broken ribs and a new scar, but nothing too serious. His head shot up as he heard someone enter.

_Shit,_ he thought. It was Sirius. He seemed a bit beaten up himself, with a large cut running down from his neck to his chest... Remus snapped out of it. He forced his eyes away from Sirius's broad chest and back up to his eyes. He felt like Sirius was staring into his soul. Sirius slowly walked over and casually sat down next to Remus, with a very worried look on his face.

"Siriu-" Remus began, but Sirius shushed him.

"Rest, please, Remus. You...you got pretty beat up."

"Well, I suppose I could say the same for you." He said weakly.

There was a silence between the two. Then Remus couldn't help but ask.

"Do you hate me now?" He asked shakily.

Before Remus had any time to mentally reprimand himself for being so outspoken, he was interrupted as Sirius pulled him into a long and warm hug. He then let Remus lie down on the bed again, and stared at him for a long while. He looked...nervous.

"Uhm, Remus?" He said nervously.

"Yes?"

"I just...nevermind. I'll, uh, see you later, OK?"

Remus sighed. "OK. I'll be out of here in a few hours, then we can...talk." Sirius nodded, then rested a hand on Remus's forehead. Remus eventually fell asleep. Sirius felt tears pour down his face as he rushed back to the common room. Why hadn't he told Remus how he felt? Why was he such a bloody coward? He rushed into the Marauders room and fell onto his bed, letting out a huge exhale. _Breathe, _He thought to himself. _Just breathe._


	5. James's Lament

**I have been so unbelievably busy, and I apologize for taking so long, ****but don't let that discourage you from giving me reviews!**

James entered his dormitory on a Saturday morning, a bit worn out from having been trailing Lily Evans for the past 3 hours. No matter how many hexes she threw his way, he wasn't about to give up on her... She liked him. She just didn't know it yet. He landed on his bed and looked across the room, noticing someone was occupying the bed opposite him. It was Sirius... looking rather pale, and...wait, was that _blood?_

James jumped up and strided over to Sirius. Sirius's head popped up. He looked rather dazed. I mean, not that being dazed was questionable for Sirius, but he looked concerned to. Not even concerned, it was more than that, deep worry, maybe?

"Uh... Sirius? You OK?"

James asked carefully. He was more than afraid it had to do with Sirius's family. The way they treated him... well, James didn't believe it at first, but when Sirius came back from Christmas vacation covered in scars, it was hard to deny. In fact, Sirius always came back in a depression after spending even a day with his family. He normally wouldn't talk to anyone but Remus for days, sometimes weeks, after.

Sirius inhaled deeply. He would have said yes, that he was fine, but there wasn't any use in lying to James. He was literally a human lie detector.

"No, not really."

James looked worried. "Is it your family?"

"Uhm, no."

"Well...?"

"It's...it's Remus."

James raised an eyebrow.

"Care to elaborate?"

Sirius grabbed James by the arm and dragged him to the infirmary where Remus lay, _reading_. Typical Remus.

"Bloody hell Remus, your beaten up worse than Sirius! What happened?"

Remus looked up from the book in alarm, then relaxed when he saw it was simply James and Sirius.

Remus slowly sat up and looked nervously from Sirius to James. He slowly but firmly told them of everything...they would eventually find out, anyway.

Once he ended, it was silent for a moment.

"I just... I just don't understand why you didn't tell us." Sirius said, looking slightly hurt.

"I didn't want you guys to hate me." Remus muttered.

That pushed Sirius a little too far.

"_Hate you?_ How could we bloody hate you, Remus, we're best friends! **Why are you so down on yourself, your honestly the most amazing person I've ever bloody met and all you fucking think about is your detriments, which is bloody ridiculous! Use your EYES, Remus! I would never be able to hate you Remus, in fact I've thought it to be quite obvious that I actually-"** Sirius stopped dead in the middle of his shouting. He looked down.

_Damn, I've said too much._

"You what, Sirius?" Remus said. He looked genuinely confused. James, on the other hand, looked as if something had dawned on him.

"Nothing." Sirius said angrily. "I have to go." And with that, he walked briskly from the room.

Remus looked at James. "What...?" What the bloody hell was going on... not that he normally knew, of course, but he was utterly lost.

James simply got up and faintly said "I have to go." and ran after Sirius.

He caught up to him in the hallway.

"What was that about?" James demanded angrily.

Sirius looked at James, and he felt pathetically helpless. James knew. He had to.

Sirius shrugged. He softened a little bit. "What do you think?" He asked sarcastically, yet delicately.

It was silent for a few moments, then James's brow furrowed. "Why haven't you told him how you feel?"

They both continued to walk side by side to the common room.

"You honestly think the Golden Boy would ever return feelings for someone like me? I mean, I'm honestly not even sure if he's gay too, and then there's the whole issue of him not liking me anyway." Sirius then reached a large armchair in the common room and slid onto it.

James rolled his eyes. And to think _Sirius_ had been the one to call Remus blind.

"Oh, give me a break, Sirius! You've never had a problem with going after something you've wanted before, why stop now? And what's with all of this "Golden Boy" nonsense, you sound like a bloody poet, and in a weird way, not in a good way! Also, it may shock you to know, BUT I'M NOT BLIND! I SEE THE WAY YOU LOOK AT HIM, SIRIUS! IF HE HASN'T FUCKING FIGURED IT OUT BY NOW, HE OBVIOUSLY NEEDS A PUSH IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION! Why am I friends with all of the idiots? Remus wont know you love him if you don't SAY SOMETHING!"

Sirius raised his eyebrows. James never was this...vocal about things. Sure, he was a pretty cocky bloke, but when it came to issues he was quiet about them. Sirius then smiled a little, sheepishly.

"I... I just love him so much, James. And-and I know that wolves mate for life, but I would be more than ecstatic to spend the rest of my life with him. He's my guardian angel, James. I...I never told you this, but after Christmas break last year...I tried..." Sirius trailed off, then took a deep breath and continued shakily. "I tried to take my life. If Remus hadn't checked in on me and found the noose, I probably wouldn't...be here."

James felt weak. _Take his life?_

There was a moment of silence. He felt extremely helpless.

James sat down next to his friend, and realized that all he could do to help was listen. He then smiled.

"So, what's the master plan to get your Golden Boy?" He asked cockily.

"Shuttup." Sirius said with a smile. "I'll tell you tonight. At dinner... Remus'll probably be in the dorm, resting."

They then set off for the Quidditch field to bother Evans.

**Hope you liked it! The next chapter will be out soon!**


	6. The Master Plan

****Review! Sorry for the wait, I'm in a play right now and rehearsal is all day...****

"Well?" James asked expectantly as he and Sirius sat down at a Gryffindor table in the Great Hall.

"Mmmm?" Said Sirius, still in a weird daze.

"Your master plan, smartass..."

"Oh, right!"

What immediately followed this was silence. A long, drawn-out silence.

"OK... So maybe I haven't come up with something yet..."

"SIRIUS! I-"

James's thought was interrupted by a hand tapping on his shoulder. James whirled around irritably to see none other then Lily. His expression brightened right away, as did the redness of his face.

"Oh, hi Lily..." He smiled. His face nearly matched her hair.

"Hi James!" She said brightly.

Sirius was immediately suspicious. Evans _never _greeted James this brightly. James, though still in an Evans-induced haze, did not seem to notice. Sirius cut his fantasies short.

"Why are you being so nice...?" He asked suspiciously.

She sighed dramatically. "What, I can't just be nice to you guys once in a while?"

"No." They responded in unison.

Lily was foiled. "_Fine,_" she said grumpily. She threw herself down on the bench, and cautiously turned to Sirius. "OK, long story short... I know."

"Pardon?"

"_I know you like Remus, OK?_" She whisper-shouted. Sirius turned a shade of scarlet quite reminiscent of James's.

"I...uh...how?"

"I overheard you and James talking. Look, I want to help, OK?"

Sirius regained his joking composure enough to prod at Lily a little.

"What do you want? A date with Jamsie-boy?" Sirius asked jokingly. He chuckled with James, who had started to blush again.

"Actually, yes." Lily said, quite evenly. This cut their laughter short. Sirius gawked at James, who looked as if he was about to fall off his seat.

"Wait, seriously?" Sirius asked (excuse the pun).

"Mhm." Lily nodded. Although she wasn't blushing, Sirius could see her hands were shaking. "Well... what do you say to it, James?"

James made a funny croaking noise. "He means yes," Sirius jumped in quickly.

Lily grinned and exhaled deeply. "Excellent. Now, about your 'master plan'..." She turned to Sirius, reached into her bronze cauldron, and pulled out a large book. "Here," she handed the book to Sirius. "Try page 394. I have to go to class, but I'll catch up with you in the common room later." And with that, she picked up her belongings and whisked out of the hall.

James seemed pretty dazed still. "Evans? Date? Am I awake?" He kept mumbling. Sirius took a good look at the cover.

Charming and Bewitching Plants _By Clathilda Merryweather_

He curiously opened to page 394, where he could see Lily had left a book mark. The page's title read "Glowing Flowers". What the bloody hell...?

A note fell out of the page.

_Sirius- you and James. in the common room tonight at around 11:00. make sure no one is around. -Lily_

"_Great,"_ Sirius thought. "_James is going out with a nutter. Fantastic."_ Nevertheless, he tucked the note in his pocket and dragged James out of the common room.


	7. Recovering

**Again, I apologize profusely for the long update, my show goes on this week! By way of apology, I have posted another, albeit short chapter the same day as chapter 6.**

Remus shakily stood up, although putting most of his weight on the bedpost. After the room stopped spinning, he quickly changed into his Hogwarts robe. He strode over to the Great Hall, and looked at the time.

_Gods,_ he thought wearily. 9_:00 PM? They must be in the common room..._

Then Remus remembered. Sirius. He hadn't gotten to finish his thought earlier, but he had no doubt in his mind that Sirius was disgusted. Why shouldn't he be? Remus had always thought of himself as no more than a monster. Ever since he was bitten, his parents had been afraid of him. They acted like they didn't, but it was glaringly obvious. They would "randomly" decide to vacation every full moon, and lock him in their cellar. Why should Sirius be any different from his parents?

Why was Remus stupid enough to fall for Sirius? Sirius was... incredible. His hair, his stormy eyes that made you feel faint, how he managed to never study yet get excellent marks in _all_ of his classes... he was truly remarkable. Why would someone like Sirius be interested in a _monster?_

_God, I sound like a girl!_ He thought. He strided to the common room. The lady in Pink Silk raised an eyebrow at him. "Well? Where have _you_ been all day, Mr. Lupin?"

Remus was always a bit exhausted after the full moon, and needless to say he wasn't in a fit mood to converse with anyone right now.

"Potter is our King," he muttered. In his defense, it was James that made the password, not him!

The portrait swung open, and he walked in to find a completely empty common room...no, wait, James and...Sirius. Of course. They were sitting by the fire. As soon as they spotted Remus, James nudged Sirius and all conversation halted. James looked a bit anxious, and Sirius's expression was unreadable. Remus weakly made his way up to the dormitory. He saw Peter, completely passed out on his messy bed. James and Sirius's beds both looked as if they had been hit by a tornado, or something equally destructive. Remus's bed, on the other hand, was unbelievably neat and trim. Remus shakily laid down on his bed. He noticed the curtains were open. As he glanced outside, he could see the moon. He suddenly felt dizzy again. He rushed over to the window and drew the curtains shut, and as a final farewell to this long, confusing day, threw his curtains shut and fell asleep.

****The Nightmare****

_**"Dad!" A small boy with golden eyes and hair screeched up at his father. "Daddy! Look at this book I found!"**_

_**A tall man with hazel eyes and the same golden hair walked up to the young boy. "Yes, Remus, that's a very pretty book! Now, Daddy is going to be in his bookshop late tonight, so just run home. Mommy will be in the kitchen."**_

_**With all the eagerness one would expect from a small 6-year-old, the boy squeaked a shrill "OK, Daddy!", hugged the tall mans leg, and skipped out of the shop. He looked up at the gorgeous orb of light above him, a full moon. He clutched the book to his chest and started home. His books were like security blankets. They were his safety. Suddenly, the boy heard a low, growling noise. The little boy turned slowly, and towering above his stood the largest, grayest wolf he had ever seen. He stood, frozen in place. he managed a weak "..Daddy?" before the wolf lunged. It was like vemon pounding through his veins, every inch of his body was on fire, he screamed out in pain-**_

Remus jolted awake with a start. He realized he had experienced a nightmare, a rather common occurrence. Ever since he got bit... well, let's just say they weren't pleasant.

He looked over at the clock... only 9:45. He looked over to James and Sirius's beds...still empty.

_Hm,_ He thought. _Perhaps they just don't want to sleep in a dorm inhabited by a werewolf. No surprise there._

Remus turned over and closed his eyes, eventually falling into yet another nightmare-infested sleep.

**Wow! Two chapters in a day! Consider that my apology for taking so long to update!**


	8. Lily's Plan

**Keep reviewing! It's motivating me to continue to write! Warning: Language and more adult themes will appear later, so from now on I am changing the rating to T, just to be safe. Thanks!**

Sirius anxiously glanced up at the clock again. 11:00. _Where was she?_

No sooner had he thought that than Lily rushed in through the portrait, looking slightly disheveled. She was carrying a lot of parchment with designs on it, as well as a few new books. She threw everything on the large coffee table in front of them and sat down next to James. He, of course, turned red. Lily noticed, smiled, and turned a bit red herself. Sirius rolled his eyes.

"If you two lovebirds are done, I would absolutely _love_ to learn more about this pile of drawing you have just thrown on my table." Lily smirked and threw the two books on Sirius's lap, as she attempted to smooth out the parchment. The first book, Charming for Dummies, had a picture of a young wizard levitating a large basin of water. The other looked like a guidebook for different kinds of flowers.

While Sirius was completely lost, James simply stared up at her with a idiotic smile and moon eyes. "What's on the parchment?" He asked.

"This," She said, pointing proudly of what appeared to be a complex diagram featuring a glowing flower, "is how you'll tell Remus you love him."

Sirius was completely lost. "What the bloody hell are you talking about, Evans?"

She laughed and pointed to the flower. "I spent all of last summer at my aunts garden, Sirius, and she let me practice spells on them. What I'm saying is I know how to morph plants, quite well I might add. I can easily put a glowing charm on them, I've practiced it a dozen times on her petunias. We can then arrange them to say something like, I don't know, 'I love you Remus'. "

It was a moment to remember. James and Sirius (but especially James) stared in awe at Lily Evans. The only sound to be heard for the next few minutes was the crackling of the fire.

"Wow..." Sirius finally said, expression unreadable.

"So...?" Lily asked anxiously. "I mean, I know it sounds a bit silly now, bu-" She was immediately smothered as James threw his arms around her, and pulled her close to him.

He let go a while later. They were both grinning at each other sheepishly, with their faces as red as Lily's hair, yet again.

"It's fucking _brilliant_." Sirius said happily.

"Great." Said Lily. She said all of this while still glancing shyly at James. "So, I'm planning on using white roses, they're the easiest to bewitch. When would you want to do this?"

Sirius shrugged. " I don't know, when did you have in mind?"

"Well, I was thinking sometime this month, obviously before the next full moon-"

Sirius and James's eyes grew wide. "What are you talking about?" James asked quickly.

Lily rolled her eyes. "When I said I heard the conversation, I meant I heard _all_ of it, genius." She noticed the looks of panic on the boys faces. "Ugh, don't worry, I'm not daft! I know I can't tell anyone!" She snarled. _James is lucky he's cute,_ she thought.

Sirius relaxed a little. "OK...well, I'm making a moon chart, and I'm fairly sure we could pull it off in, like, 7 days..." They all nodded in agreement.

James smiled encouragingly at Sirius. The boy hated everything about astronomy, and making a whole moon chart? That's dedication.

"7 days it is!" James grinned. They then began to pour over the books. James eventually slid his hand next to hers. This did not go unnoticed by Sirius, who quickly winked at James, then went back to the books.

Sirius knew he had to make this perfect for Remus. And he was going to, too.

**Review! I hope you like! Next chapter will hopefully be out soon!**


	9. Siriusly Weird

**I'm sorry for the long update, but a family friend passed away and it's taken me a while to get back into the swing of things. I plan to update at least once a week from now on, I even made a schedule! This is short, but it's just to tide you over 'till Monday. Review!**

Remus was slightly annoyed. This tended to happen on occasion, but usually it was for normal, expected things like Sirius staring at him, or Snape insulting him. But this... this was just so... _weird._ Of course, James and Sirius were weird people, but they were acting so _odd_ around Remus for the past few days. And Lily too, even! She hadn't spoken to him in 3 days, and the only thing she had managed to do was write him a note asking what his favorite kind of flowers were. _Madness_.

He woke up early to find that his dorm was empty. He slowly rose and carefully put on his robes, trying but failing to look away from the hideous scars covering his body. He slowly opened the door, walked down the stairs, and found an empty common room. The grandfather clock looming in the far corner read 10:30. Well, he had certainly slept late...

Remus absentmindedly ran a hand through his golden hair, and continued out of the common room, stopping briefly at the mirror to check his reflection. His eyes were an eerie amber color; That seemed to happen around a week after the full moon. It honestly annoyed him.

"Great. One _more_ damn thing to be annoyed about. Just wonderful." He murmured. Remus strode down the halls until he reached the great hall. He pushed the door open, to find a reasonably empty room, save for a few Hufflepuffs, Ravenclaws, and one Slytherin boy. He looked at his houses table to find Lily Evans, leaning intently over a book, wand in hand, pointing it at a rose.

Remus had had enough. He jogged over to Lily, ignored her frightened look and quick grab to stuff the rose into her bag, and intently asked, "Does Sirius hate me?"

She seemed a little taken aback. "Sorry?" She asked faintly.

"You heard what I said. Look, it's understandable if he and James do, and even if you are disgusted as well, fine. But _please_, stop acting so fucking awkward around me?"

Lily looked away from Remus's eyes, then up, then finally met his gaze with a slight smile. "Listen, there's not a lot I can tell you right now, but if you listen to anything I say, let it be this. Sirius does not hate you, and neither do James or I, for that matter. It all may be a little confusing right now, but soon, very soon in fact, it'll make sense. Just..." She shifted uncomfortably. "...Just be gentle with Sirius right now. He's nervous."

"Why is he nervous?" Remus asked gently. He had hoped it had nothing to do with his family. Lily must have been able to tell where Remus's train of thought was headed, because she simply said,

"It's nothing like that, he's fine. You'll see." She said kindly. And with that she picked up her books and left.

Remus noticed she had left the rose behind.

"Wait!" Remus tried to call after her. He looked at the rose. _Odd,_ he thought. _Is that glowing?_


	10. Awkward

**Sorry for long update again! This is unbelievably short, I know, but it's just a filler until I get a**** real**** chapter !**

Sirius was relaxing in the common room a little after dinner by himself. Lily was hiding in her dorm room, James at Quidditch practice, and Peter god knows where. As for Remus, Sirius learned of his whereabouts a few seconds later when he slowly (and gracefully) walked into the common room. Remus didn't immediately notice Sirius, but when he did, he froze in place.

"Hi." He said breathlessly.

"Hi." Sirius nodded back. Remus began walking slowly up to the dorm, but then appeared to have changed his mind. He stopped and turned to Sirius.

"Uh...Have you seen Lily?"

Sirius nodded in response to Remus's question and gestured to the girls dormitory.

There was a long, drawn out, awkward silence. Remus then nodded politely to Sirius and smoothly continued to his dorm.

_Damn._ Sirius thought to himself. _I'm just doing such a great job at wooing him. Fucking spectacular._

Sirius was in an unusually pessimistic mood today, probably due to the fact that he had gone nearly a week without talk to Remus, due to planning and the werewolf incident.

_Only a few more days_, he thought to himself encouragingly as he gathered his bag and headed to the Quidditch field to meet up with James.


	11. Finally

**Here it is, lovies! The final chapter! I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I have enjoyed writing it. A true journey. :)**

Hours melted into days, and all too soon the big day came. Lily had put a glowing charm on 23 roses that were to spell out "I love you Remus" in their luminescent, and hopefully romantic way.

Sirius had spent the last few days sitting in his room, churning over the idea of actually telling Remus how he felt. Well, actually, the most painful part of sitting in his room and observing was watching Remus. Remus was closing himself off from the world. Sirius was lying on his bed on the big day when he noticed a book open on Remus's bed. It wasn't, however, a school book, and Sirius had first suspected. Sirius slowly walked to Remus's bed and picked up the tattered, worn out and maroon book.

_Wow, congratulations on your complete lack of self control,_ he thought.

He opened to what appeared to be the most recent entry, and read the neat scrawl:

_8 AM_

_Dear Journal,_

_Sirius and James still aren't talking to me. Lily has only said a few words. Why did I even tell them?! Why would any sane person want to associate with a thing like me? It was an idiotic thing to do. Sirius has been spending a lot of time in our room lately, and I must say, he looks rather gaunt. Probably his insane family again. Or the fact that he's being forced to share his room with a teen werewolf. Gods, that sounds like a corny sitcom...sorry, getting distracted. I still can't believe I told them! I mean, it wasn't completely by choice, but I should have done much more to prevent it. And instead, here I am, watching Sirius watching me. Gods, I need to get out of here for a while. Perhaps I'm so moody due to the upcoming moon, but I shouldn't write or think about that, it makes me nauseous... I wonder what Moony will be like this moon. Probably dreadful. I expect a few broken ribs, maybe a leg, new scars and decent blood loss, so slightly worse than normal. I wonder if Madame Pomfrey will make me drink that potion again, it really was horrid. ...Wow, did you know that if you re-arrange the letters in "horrid", it becomes "ord irh", which in Welsh folklore is a type of magical cairn with healing powers? ...OK, getting distracted again. Gods, now he's staring at me again, can't he put his storm eyes somewhere else?! OK, I need to go to the library, I won't get distracted there._

Sirius chuckled at Remus's random knowledge of Welsh folklore, then immediately reprimanded himself for laughing it him. It was rude, Remus was obviously stressed. Sirius looked outside and saw that it was getting dark outside. Time to get started. Sirius put the book back down on Remus's bed and went down to the common room, where he found James and Lily, admittedly adorably, snuggling on a far couch. He nervously sped over to them.

"If you two are done, we kind of need to get going. Moony's in the library, who's going to get him?"

James looked less than thrilled about the interruption, but regained focus.

"OK, I think you should Lily. He'll be more likely to do something that seems odd if someone logical tells him to."

"Fine. But what do I tell him, Sirius?"

"Just tell him to go to the lake. By himself."

"That sounds an awful lot like something Mafia gangsters say to people when they need to meet them, maybe I-"

"What's a 'mafia'?" James asked curiously. Lily just rolled her eyes.

...

"Remus, just go to the lake, PLEASE." Lily begged again.

Remus slammed his book shut. "Why?!" He shout-whispered, hyper-aware of the other students that wouldn't take kindly to being interrupted. He was still annoyed about how everyone had been treating him lately.

"Please..." Lily whispered. She started tearing up. "I know we've been acting oddly, but we've worked really hard for this moment and if you would just go-"

Remus, taken aback at seeing her get emotional, quickly got up and hugged her apologetically.

"I'm sorry." He muttered into her hair. "It's kind of my time of month."

Silence.

Then they both collapsed into fits of laughter.

"OK, ok I'm going. Bye." He giggled. He grabbed his jacket and left.

Lily smiled as he left, knowing that he would return a much happier person.

...

Sirius was sitting on the very edge of the field, almost able to touch the water with his feet. He looked up at the dark blue sky, completely clear and filled with constellations. He heard Remus approach from behind him. Then he turned as he saw that the boy had sat down right next to him.

"Hi." said Remus awkwardly. Then he did that adorable half-smile he wore daily, to keep the teachers from worrying about him and the first years from being scared. It made Sirius nervous, but he knew that it wasn't his real smile. Not the one he saw on those rare occasions where Remus was truly ecstatic. It was how he looked when he got a test back, when Sirius had gotten him a new book... when Sirius came back from vacations with minimal bruises and cuts.

And before Sirius realized what he was doing, he felt himself being pulled forward, as if by gravity.

And then he was kissing Remus .

And, to his surprise, Remus was slowly kissing back.

Time froze. They were either kissing for 10 seconds, or for 10 hours. Sirius wasn't sure. They eventually pulled apart. And again, just like before, without realizing what he was doing, Sirius was telling Remus everything.

"I love you. I love you _so much_, Remus, probably for a few years. Now that I think of it... I've fallen in love with you so many times I can't count. I know I've been acting weirdly, we all have, but I swear I was just nervous because I wanted to tell you that I loved you. I wasn't SCARED of you. And I know that we would have to be mates for life, and I _want to spend the rest of my life_ with you, Remus. So badly."

And then Remus started to get a stinging feeling in his eyes that he knew was tears. And Sirius shakily continued, taking Remus's hand.

"I've inherited Uncle Alph's fortune, and I got a flat away from my family. _Far away._ We could live there over the vacations, and then move their full time when we graduate. I can build a safehouse for full moons...Remus, please say something."

Remus was crying. He hated doing that. He couldn't speak, he was feeling so many emotions. He just leaned forward and was embraced by Sirius.

"Can I take that as a collective 'Yes'?"

"Yes" Came the muffled response.

_Wow, I guess those flowers were a waste of Lily's time...I didn't need them..._

He stood Remus up, and the held hands all the way back to the common room, where they found a squealing Lily.

James just smiled and winked at Remus "About time, mate."

"Well I guess we'll just live happily ever after now, right?" Remus said jokingly.

And they did.


End file.
